


Chat Under The Sea

by orphan_account



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Attempt at Humor, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Sandy goes OFF and takes no prisoners
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 07:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22132501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: STOP: I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that.STOP: …STOP: Just kidding. I read that. I’m going to slam your head in a door.NotRick: don’t do that!!!!!!!Texas: relax Squidward is mean but he wouldn’t do thatNotRick: then why is he going towards sponges houseTexas: HE WHAT[A Spongebob chatfic that is as weird as it sounds. Featuring Humanized!characters (possibly humanized!musical!characters)][Might update, but until then, ON INDEFINITE HIATUS]
Relationships: Sandy Cheeks & SpongeBob SquarePants & Patrick Star
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> Frycookothemonth - Spongebob  
> NotRick - Patrick  
> STOP - Squidward  
> Texas - Sandy  
> MoneyMoneyMoney - Mr Krabs  
> ElectricBoysWhoCry - Pearl  
> Lemonscented - Plankton  
> C0mputer Wife - Karen  
> (More to be added??)

[August 22. 5:15 PM.]

_Frycookofthemonth created The Chat_

_Frycookofthemonth changed the chat name from The Chat to Best Friends :)_

_Frycookofthemonth added NotRick, Squidward, and 5 others_

Frycookofthemonth: hello guys!! I made this so we can all keep in touch better :)

NotRick: ooh ooh can you change my name to king of bikini bottom or something

Frycookofthemonth: no patrick, you change your name yourself :)

Squidward: Who thought this was a good idea.

Frycookofthemonth: me!! :)

Squidward: oh

_Squidward changed their name from Squidward to STOP_

STOP: There. Much better.

STOP: Now stop contacting me.

Frycookofthemonth: ok Squidward if you want!! :)

NotRick: how do I change my name!!!!!!!!

Frycookofthemonth: just go to your nickname

NotRick: where!!!!!!!!!!

Texas: what in chicken fried tarnation is this

Frycookofthemonth: a group chat so everyone can stay in touch!! :) :) :)

Texas: you named it ‘best friends’ but added squidward. I’d call that..

Texas: not accurate

Frycookofthemonth: I don’t know what you’re talking about Sandy!!!!! Squidward is my friend!! :)

Texas: …

Texas: if you say so

NotRick: i gave up changing my name so

NotRick: what do you guys wanna talk about?????

Texas: what about how you’re not supposed to break the glass on my treedome, PATRICK

NotRick: it was an accident!!!!!!

Texas: patrick, I have several degrees in idiotology, and you’re a prime specimen 

Texas: (for my idiot studies)

Texas: (sometimes. you can be smart if you TRY)

Frycookofthemonth: is your dome still leaking??

Texas: no, thank the ranch

Lemonscented: WHAT IN THE NAME OF VILLAINY IS THIS

Frycookofthemonth: it’s a best friends group chat plankton!! because anyone can be a friend if you try hard enough!! :)

Lemonscented: I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES TO DUST IF YOU DO NOT REMOVE ME THIS INSTANT

Texas: you just _try_

Lemonscented: IS THAT A CHALLENGE. I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW, I WENT TO COLLEGE!

Texas: me too. i have several degrees in idiotology

Lemonscented: THAT

Lemonscented: THAT IS NOT A REAL DEGREE YOU DEGENERATE! 

Lemonscented: YOU ARE ALL FOOLS! I CAN USE THIS IDIOTIC CHAT FOR MY OWN PERSONAL GAIN! I CAN USE THIS TO GET CLOSE TO THE SPONGE, ULTIMATELY MAKING A FRIENDSHIP SO CLOSE I CAN STEAL THE FORMULA FROM UNDER HIS STUPID NOSE…

Texas: you do know you just wrote that out for all of us to see right

Lemonscented: OH

Lemonscented: HOW DO I DELETE A MESSAGE

Frycookofhemonth: you can’t :(

Lemonscented: I WILL END YOUR BLOODLINES

NotRick: are you gonna give me a bandaid or something

Lemonscented: DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ONLY ONE BRAIN CELL

NotRick: yes!!

NotRick: wait what’s the normal amount of brain cells

Texas: just

Texas: okay. can we just ban plankton

Frycookofthemonth: no!! :( why would we do that???

NotRick: he called me dumb!!!!!!!!!!

Frycookofthemonth: where?? >:(

Lemonscented: THOSE ARE FALSE ACCUSATIONS

Frycookofhemonth: well if plankton says he didn’t do it then I guess he didn’t do it!! it’s all good :)

Texas: plankton I think you have two people that have one brain cell

Texas: actually, they share the brain cell

Lemonscented: I KNOW RIGHT

MoneyMoneyMoney: Plankton! what in Davy Jones Locker are you doing here?!?!???!?

Lemonscented: I WAS FORCED TO BE HERE KRABS

MoneyMoneyMoney: well GET OUT I don’t want you messing up this

MoneyMoneyMoney: this

MoneyMoneyMoney: Spongebob me boy what is this

Frycookofthemonth: it’s a group chat!! so all of my best friends can keep in touch!! :)

MoneyMoneyMoney: ???????

Texas: wait. If you don’t know what a group chat is how are you texting?? Do you even have a phone??

MoneyMoneyMoney: Oh! I’m using my darling daughter Pearl’s cellphone! She told me to take it because I’m getting her a new one!

MoneyMoneyMoney: wait

Texas: if this is pearls phone then why is YOUR contact the one we’re seeing messages from?

Frycookofthemonth: he told me he was getting pearls phone soon so I prepared :)

Lemonscented: WHY DO I HEAR SCREAMING

Texas: oh did mr Krabs finally figure out that by getting pearls phone he had to buy a new one?

Lemonscented: YES HE DID

Lemonscented: THIS IS ASSAULT ON MY EARS WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

Texas: you did many things. would you like to go through my list? it’s alphabetized 

Lemonscented: ALPHABETIZED LIKE MY EVIL PLANS?

NotRick: what’s alphabetized

STOP: WILL YOU MORONS STOP MESSAGING EACH OTHER I CAN’T PRACTICE MY CLARINET IN PEACE

Frycookofthemonth: oh so that’s what that dying animal noise was!! 

STOP: I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that. 

STOP: …

STOP: Just kidding. I read that. I’m going to slam your head in a door. 

NotRick: don’t do that!!!!!!!

Texas: relax Squidward is mean but he wouldn’t do that

NotRick: then why is he going towards sponges house

Texas: HE WHAT

Frycookofthemonth: wkndkakajjqhhsbsb

Frycookofthemonth: snjaksjwksnswhyhelpwnjejejfbe

Lemonscented: HAHAHAHAH! LOOKS LIKE I DID NOT HAVE TO GET MY REVENGE MYSELF! THE CASHIER DID IT FOR ME!

Texas: SQUIDWARD

Texas: WHAT DID YOU DO

Texas: SQUIDWARD ANSWER ME OR I WILL GO TO YOU MYSELF

Texas: fine

Lemonscented: WHAT IS THE SCIENTIST, THE ONE WHO MAY ONE DAY REACH MY LEVEL, GOING TO DO?

STOP: nakakdjwjwjdjwjdj

Texas: that

Frycookofthemonth: thanakks 

Frycookofthemonth: hhows do yuo treatx. a brokend nossee

STOP: I WILL CALL THE POLICE

Texas: you just _try_ it. I can easily get you kicked outta town if you so much as slam a SINGLE door near my sponge ever again

NotRick: your sponge????

Texas: wait 

Texas: forget I typed that

Texas: PATRICK I SAID FORGET IT NOT SHOUT IT FROM THE TOP OF YOUR HOUSE

NotRick: akdnajjejwjejje

Texas: I’m getting real tired of smashing people’s head in

NotRick: what did I ever do to youuuuuuuuuuu

Texas: close your mouth and I’ll tell you

NotRick: but that’s hard because I’m eating a donut

Texas: I literally just punched you off the roof of your house how in the WORLD are you eating already

NotRick; it’s called being skilled

Frycookofthemonth: will everyoneeens pleaseejd stop hitting each wother :((((((

Texas: once you stop making typos because that means youre healed and my job is done

Frycookofthemonth: :(

Lemonscented: YOU ALL DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY THIS IS

STOP: This is NOT funny and I’m CONTACTING THE AUTHORITIES

Texas: are you? _are you?_

STOP: ..no.

Texas: that’s what I THOUGHT

Frycookofthemonth: can we stop threatening people already it’s making me sad :(

Texas: alright that’s gonna be a wrap! everyone pack it up because my phones dying and sponge is sad. we can’t have this 

NotRick: yeah I kinda need to get more donuts bye

STOP: I’m going to the hospital, SANDY.

Texas: with my final percentage of battery, I will bestow upon you some knowledge:

Texas: I literally can’t take you more serious than a taco shortage at a ramen party you mea

Lemonscented: I WILL GO OUT AND GUESS THE SCIENTIST’S PHONE DIED

STOP: Good on the phone. 

Frycookofthemonth: aw shoot it’s time for me to arrange my socks again bye guys!! :)

STOP: He organizes his SOCKS?

Lemonscented: YOU DON’T? I ALPHABETIZE THEM ALONG WITH MY EVIL PLANS

STOP: I’m getting a migraine and am going to the hospital. See you never. 

Lemonscented: GREAT NOW WHERE AM I GOING TO GET MY ENTERTAINMENT

Lemonscented: THIS IS BORING WHEN IT IS ONLY ME

Lemonscented: I GUESS I WILL LEAVE TOO. GOODBYE.

  
  


[August 23. 5:07 PM.]

Texas: I call together the heroes of bikini bottom squad!

NotRick: you called!!!!!!! I’m here!!

Frycookofthemonth: I’m here too!! :)

Frycookofthemonth: what’s this meeting for??

Texas: objective of this meeting is to figure out what to watch for movie night

Frycookofthemonth: I thought we were already gonna watch mermaid man and barnacle boy part 2?? 

Texas: plans got.. mixed up. Planktons gonna be there, mr Krabs doesn’t want to show a ‘good’ movie if he’s gonna be there, Pearl really really wants to watch some gross dream boy movie, the mermaid man and barnacle boy fan club isn’t showing up so there’s no point in watching that one, and the entire boating school class is coming and wants to watch fast and the furious

Frycookofthemonth: !!!!!! why didn’t anyone tell me this before?? :( this is complicated!!

NotRick: ooooooh i wanna see fast and the furious

Texas: Patrick we all know you’re gonna fall asleep within the first ten minutes if it isn’t related to mermaid man

NotRick: yeah…...

Texas: so what in pecan pie do we do?!?!?

Frycookofthemonth: why don’t we just have multiple movie nights?? one to satisfy every group?? then everyone would be happy!! :)

Texas: sponge. we’re hosting this at the _Krusty Krab._ Mr Krabs is charging us by the SECOND, so you really think we could afford multiple movie nights after hours 

Frycookofthemonth: oh I thought since mr Krabs likes me we could work something out??

MoneyMoneyMoney: Not a chance spongebob me boy!

Texas: have you

Texas: have you been reading every single message

MoneyMoneyMoney: Yes! I have argargarg! And you’re not gonna have more movie nights unless you’re millionaires! Argargarg (That’s me laughing! Pearl taught me how to be hip!)

Texas: do you REALLY have to type out argargarg like that

MoneyMoneyMoney: Yes! Argargarg! That is how to be cool!

Texas: it really isn’t 

Lemonscented: YOU KNOW WHAT IS COOL? GIVING ME THE FORMULA!

Texas: okay who else is watching this

C0mputer Wife: Me. It’s time for Sheldon to stop meddling in other people’s business. 

Lemonscented: KAREN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHO ADDED YOU!

C0mputer Wife: The Sponge added me. And I’m adding YOU to the _banned_ list if you don’t get your antennae down here. 

Lemonscented: STOP CALLING THEM THAT IT'S FOR THE AESTHETIC…

C0mputer Wife: Sure they are. 

Texas: this is literally more drama than any soap opera has ever given me omg

Frycookofthemonth: ‘omg’??

Texas: forget I typed that

Texas: Patrick don’t you DARE shout that I typed omg or I will karate chop you into the next plane of existence

Lemonscented: THAT IS SO PERFECTLY EVIL IT HURTS

Texas: shut your mouth you single celled organism

Lemonscented: WILL PEOPLE STOP CALLING ME SMALL

C0mputer Wife: Small. Now stop texting and wash the dishes.

MoneyMoneyMoney: I have returned from asking Pearl what is cool, and she confirmed that typing argargarg IS in fact

MoneyMoneyMoney: PLANKTON

MoneyMoneyMoney: DON'T IGNORE THIS

Texas: lamp he just did 

Texas: *lmao

NotRick: LAMP??!?????????

Texas: Patrick I swear to the Flying Dutchman if you so much as BREATHE I will rearrange your DNA

NotRick: ..ok

Frycookofthemonth: Sandy why are you yell typing?? :(

Texas: I’ll stop now if you want sponge!

NotRick: what

Texas: PATRICK

NotRick: say nothing, I got it!!!!!!!!!!! 

NotRick: please don’t punch me

Texas: okay but you’re treading a thin line partner

Frycookofthemonth: so!!

Frycookofthemonth: movie night?? We were talking about that right???

Texas: oh yeah

Texas: screw Krabs we’re gonna overthrow him and have multiple nights cause I can’t deal right now

Texas: heroes of bikini bottom disassemble I’m going to get a coffee

Frycookofthemonth: oh I’ll go with you!! :)

Texas: OKAY

NotRick: h

Texas: I have dealt with the problem. continue

Frycookofthemonth: I’m just gonna. Ignore that!! :) Patrick is okay right??

Frycookofthemonth: Sandy

Frycookofthemonth: SANDY

Frycookofthemonth: I’m just gonna go

Frycookofthemonth: :(

Lemonscented: I HAVE RETURNED FROM WASHING THE DISHES!

Lemonscented: KAREN IS CURRENTLY UPDATING, WHICH IS DEFINITELY NOT MY DOING OR SOMETHING TO GET HER OFF MY BACK!

Lemonscented: WHERE IS EVERYONE

NotRick: here

Lemonscented: WHERE DID YOUR FRIENDS GO

NotRick: sandy shoved a pillow in my mouth

NotRick: it tastes like me and I don’t know how to feel about that

NotRick: how do you feel about that plankton

Lemonscented: IT IS VERY CONCERNING. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED MY VERY OWN BRAND OF 100% NON BRAINWASHING SHAMPOO?

NotRick: ooh free shampoo!!!!!!!!!!

Lemonscented: WHO SAID IT WAS FREE 

NotRick: oh :(

Lemonscented: I FEEL LIKE I LOST BRAIN CELLS TALKING TO YOU

NotRick: sandy told me I have a talent for making people feel like that

Lemonscented: MUST FEEL BAD

NotRick: she only tells me that when I crack a hole in her dome or something tho!!!!!

Lemonscented: YOU PROBABLY DO IT DAILY

NotRick: you’re right but did you really have to say it???????

Lemonscented: FORGET IT, GOODBYE.

NotRick: no don’t leave!!!!!!!! I’m gonna be lonely

Lemonscented: ARE YOU SERIOUS

NotRick: yes

Lemonscented: …

Lemonscented: WANT TO GO GET ICE CREAM OR SOMETHING

NotRick: yeah!!!!!!!!!! friends!!!!!!!!

Lemonscented: YES! YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY TRUST ME!

NotRick: okay!!!!


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night #1 went well (for everyone except Squidward), Pearl has a crisis, and Sandy goes off... again.

[August 24. 5:37 PM.]

ElectricBoysWhoCry: guess who got a new phone!! this girl!!

Texas: how much did you have to bribe your dad

ElectricBoysWhoCry: I had to threaten to put his lumpy old mattress in the dump. Idk why he’s so attached to that thing

STOP: Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH THE MATTRESS

STOP: This is coming from experience. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: what did you do lol

STOP: I tried to HELP

STOP: SOME people don’t appreciate me. 

STOP: Don’t tell Krabs I said that. 

MoneyMoneyMoney: MR. SQUIDWARD WHAT DID PEARL SAY YOU SAID

STOP: I ask for ONE favor and you can’t even do THAT, I’m moving, I’m done, goodbye

Frycookofthemonth: but remember when you moved once??? weren’t you sad there :(((

STOP: …

STOP: I have to stay don’t I. 

Texas: yeah. cause nobody else wants to be a cashier for Krabs

MoneyMoneyMoney: What?

Texas: forget I typed anything. 

Frycookofthemonth: how do you make someone forget something?? :/

Texas: would you like me to demonstrate on you because I can and I will

Frycookofthemonth: :(

Texas: never mind. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: girl what is HAPPENING!!!!

Texas: I swear if y’all start acting like Patrick I will lasso you into next year

Frycookofthemonth: don’t start that!! Patrick’s right here!! He’s gonna see!! :(

Texas: he’s where

Frycookofthemonth: we’re doing a marathon of mermaid man and barnacle boy before movie night tonight!! all 6 seasons pre movie baby!! :) :) :) 

Texas: oh yeah movie night

Texas: Krabs did you get all that set up

ElectricBoysWhoCry: he’s putting up the streamers and let me just say- it is AWFUL

ElectricBoysWhoCry: who ever thought of using toilet paper as streamers like  _ what _ ?? 

Texas: he’s  _ what _

ElectricBoysWhoCry: eww now he’s making me color them!!!!!

Texas:  _ please  _ tell me you don’t have to do what I think you have to do

ElectricBoysWhoCry: THE CRAYONS GOING RIGHT THROUGH THE PAPER I CANT DEAL

Texas: oh thank the flying dutchman

Frycookofthemonth: what did you think she was gonna do???? :))

Texas: like I said before, I can erase your memory so forget I said that

STOP: Can you please erase my memory. 

Texas: why

STOP: So I can forget I ever lived here and leave without remorse. 

Texas: sorry buddy you’re stuck here 

Texas: at least until movie nights are over

STOP: DON’T TELL ME I HAVE TO ACTUALLY WATCH THE MOVIES

STOP: BECAUSE I WILL  _ NOT _

Texas: haha too late you’re already signed up. sponge used your money to pay for the tickets already

STOP:  _ HE DID WHAT _

Frycookofthemonth: snankwkfjsw

NotRick: SQUIDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texas: why are you texting and not doing something Patrick!!

NotRick: oops

NotRick: I mean I got his phone is that okay

STOP: hehe look I have his phone

STOP: hey look im squidward and I kiss my clarinet when i go to sleep!!!!

STOP: please erase my memory squirrel smnasnjwe

Texas: guessing that Squidward got his phone back. 

STOP: YOU BET YOUR LIFE I DID AND I AM  _ NOT HAPPY! _

STOP: HE ROUNDHOUSE KICKED ME!

ElectricBoysWhoCry: Patrick can  _ do that?? _

NotRick: yeah but uh

NotRick: don’t tell anyone

NotRick: that sandy taught me how

NotRick: cause she wanted sponge to think he was the only one she taught

NotRick: okay keep it a secret

NotRick: please

Texas: PATRICK

Frycookofthemonth: what :(

Texas: Patrick if you’re not hiding in your house by the time I get there then you’re not gonna be able to watch the movie tonight

Texas: because you’ll be ON THE MOON

NotRick: you’re taking me to the moon!!

Texas: WHY DOES EVERYONE I KNOW HAVE ONE BRAINCELL

_ ElectricBoysWhoCry sent a picture.  _

_ [It is an image of the Krusty Krab. Toilet paper hastily colored many dull colors is hanging from the ceiling. Mr. Krabs is smiling contentedly. Pearl is not.] _

Frycookofthemonth: movie night is o

Texas: WHAT IN THE ALMIGHTY ALASKAN BULL WORM IS  _ THAT  _

ElectricBoysWhoCry: it’s terrible right!! why does daddy think this is a good idea!!!

Texas: I need to get over there ASAP and redecorate

ElectricBoysWhoCry: quickly!! Daddy’s getting out the superglue!!!!

NotRick: Spongebob just said that you guys are being mean

NotRick: he also said that he can’t text because Squidward broke his charger when he came in here and his phone died

NotRick: he also said that he needs a new door but he’ll be there for movie night

STOP: I should’ve glued the door shut. Pearl, does Krabs have any spare glue

ElectricBoysWhoCry: you really think he’d let you have some?? He’s had this glue since before I was  _ born  _ and he’s not buying another one

STOP: Why does nothing ever go my way

Texas: because you slam doors in people’s faces and punch people

STOP: That’s fair for SOME occasions but normally this shouldn’t be happening!!

Texas: you literally punched sponge like five minutes ago

NotRick: he decked him actually

Texas: and you did nothing to stop it. that’s it I’m gonna leave right now

Texas: if I spend too much time here I’ll lose whatever brain cells I have left 

STOP: Why are you all making me question my morality. This is not how I wanted to spen my Friday. 

Texas: *spend

STOP: LET ME LIVE

NotRick: Uh I’m just gonna go

NotRick: sponge told me to tell you that you better come to movie night or he’ll cry

NotRick: he says he doesn’t wanna cry so you better come

Texas: so he’s guilting us

NotRick: yeah but he worked really hard for this so..

NotRick: I call the popcorn!!!!!!!

Texas: why am I not surprised

STOP: I’m the least surprised out of any of you idiots. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: ok boomer

STOP:  _ WHAT  _ DID YOU JUST CALL ME

ElectricBoysWhoCry: nothing~

STOP: You will rue the day you crossed Squidward Q. Tentacles, mark my words. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: oooooh I’m so  _ scared _

Texas: can y’all like

Texas: not fight every 5 seconds

Texas: I’m outside the Krusty Krab rn and I can just..

Texas: see pearl absolutely LOSING IT

STOP: THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER!

ElectricBoysWhoCry: wym this is  _ absolutely  _ a laughing matter

_ ElectricBoysWhoCry sent a picture.  _

_ [It is an image of Pearl, in Sandy’s own words: absolutely losing it.] _

STOP: That was uncalled for. 

_ ElectricBoysWhoCry sent a picture.  _

_ [It is an image of Pearl losing it again; this time, Sandy is in the frame. They are both laughing.] _

STOP: That’s it I’m going there to get you 

Texas: really. you’re really gonna do that. 

STOP: This time you can’t stop me!

Texas: we’ll see about that

_ ElectricBoysWhoCry sent a picture.  _

_ [It is an image of Spongebob and Patrick having an arm wrestling match. Spongebob is smiling at the camera. Sandy is in the background, acting as a bodyguard for them.] _

ElectricBoysWhoCry: yeah cause sandys gonna destroy you if you even  _ try  _ to do anything

ElectricBoysWhoCry: note- I’m not threatening you so please don’t go after me

STOP: You gave up your innocence the moment you sent that first picture. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: the one with the Krusty Krabs decorating??? bruh I don’t even know how that’s ‘giving away my innocence’

STOP: No I meant the

STOP: You know what. Forget it. I’m heading over there now. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: aight see you there!! ;D

  
  
  


_ [August 25. 1:08 AM] _

NotRick: ok so movie night was cool 

STOP: NO it wasn’t. It was the epitome of NOT COOL. 

Texas: since when do you say ‘epitome’

STOP: Since now. 

Texas: yeah right you were cheering when mermaidman got to the top of the cliff just like the rest of us

STOP: No I wasn’t!

NotRick: but you were!!!!!!!!!!

ElectricBoysWhoCry: yeah you were lmao

_ ElectricBoysWhoCry sent a picture.  _

_ [It is an image of everyone cheering when Mermaid Man got to the top of the cliff in the movie. Squidward is cheering.] _

STOP: WHERE DID YOU GET THIS

ElectricBoysWhoCry: literally like an hour ago lol

ElectricBoysWhoCry: beat that sucka!!

Texas: omg yes

Texas: once again- Patrick if you even  _ breathe  _ that I said ‘omg’ I will stuff a pillow in your mouth

NotRick: I wasn’t gonna do it tho………….

Texas: yes you were

NotRick: yeah I was

Frycookofthemonth: what’s this about stuffing pillows in people’s mouths?? :(

STOP: Go on. I want to see this. 

Frycookofthemonth: I don’t!! :(

Texas: okay. I have two choices. Stuff a pillow in it Patrick’s mouth if he doesn’t shut up or  _ not do that  _ if he does

NotRick: but you said omg and I wanna tell people that

NotRick: sandy

NotRick: sandy

NotRick: sandy

NotRick: s

Texas: I have stopped the problem. Continue

ElectricBoysWhoCry: it’s true I was the pillow

ElectricBoysWhoCry: wait

ElectricBoysWhoCry: I WASNT THEVPILOW FALSE ALARM EVEYRBODYD FORGET I SIADH THAT TEJEJSJJWIWKS

STOP: You’re saying that you were in Patrick’s mouth. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: I AAID TO FORGRT!!! STOPPPPPP!!!!!!!

STOP: So you’re insinuating that you and Patrick… are  _ together.  _

ElectricBoysWhoCry: I CAN GET MY DAD TO N FIREBW YOY DONT MAKE EME DO ITT!!!!!!!

STOP: No, no, please do it. And while you’re at it, tell Patrick that you said this. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: NO I DIDNT WHANT THIRS TO HAPPEEN WHEN IS SAID DTHAT DNEKEKWNBSHAJEJWJJW

STOP: Oh, I'm sure _.  _

Texas: this is great keep doing it

ElectricBoysWhoCry: I thought t you were my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texas: I am. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: then help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!??

Texas: as we say in Texas; lmao 

STOP: I’m pretty sure they don’t say that in Texas. 

Texas: and how would you know, mr.’i bully teenagers’?

Frycookofthemonth: do they actually say that in Texas??

Texas: I have decided to keep that a secret, only the world knows now

Frycookofthemonth: ok can I just call your cousins real quick and ask if they say lmao in Texas then?? 

Texas: you may not 

Frycookofthemonth: okay :(

NotRick: lmao

Texas: cease this

NotRick: LMAO

NotRick: (what does it mean???????????)

Texas: its meaning is too powerful for your mortal soul to comprehend

ElectricBoysWhoCry: we all know that people use it to hide their pain. 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: in that case, 

ElectricBoysWhoCry: lmao

STOP: Lmao. 

Frycookofthemonth: I don’t think I have any real pain to hide but I slammed my toe in the door this morning so lmao!! :D

NotRick: I’ve had more pillows in my mouth than food so far today, lmao!!!!!!!!!!

Texas: you guys are all saying ‘lmao’ and it’s my fault!! LMAO!!

Texas: but seriously please stop I don’t think I can handle…

Texas: the  _ other  _ people in this chat saying lmao

Lemonscented: YOU HAVE AWAKENED ME!!

Lemonscented: LMAO

Texas: WHAT HAVE I DONE

Lemonscented: YOU HAVE TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE!

C0mputer Wife: Plankton please don’t do this. It’s driving me insane. 

C0mputer Wife: Lmao. 

Texas: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MoneyMoneyMoney: There’s this weird saying Pearl wants me to type out. I think it’s spelled… ‘L M A O’? Do any of you landlubbers know what it means

Texas: this is horrible

ElectricBoysWhoCry: you started it when you didn’t help me

NotRick: yeah lmao

NotRick: l

NotRick: how’d you even get to my house so quick??? And I even hid all the pillows!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texas: I stole one of pearls pillows. 

STOP: HA!

ElectricBoysWhoCry: NO THIS USNT GOOD STOP RIGTHBTNOW IM COMING OEVRR TO GET MY PILOW BACK

STOP: And you know exactly how to get to wlskwkeje

Texas: make that two of pearls pillows. 

Frycookofthemonth: sandy why aren’t you putting a pillow in my mouth?? I feel left out :(

Texas: oh

Frycookofthemonth: shwjkdnwke

Texas: you’re welcome. Also Pearl, you have to collect three pillows

ElectricBoysWhoCry: HOW??????

Lemonscented: THIS IS PERFECTLY EVIL!

MoneyMoneyMoney: Don’t make me have to buy new pillows! I’ve had those since before Pearl turned one year old!

Lemonscented: I FIGURED YOU WOULD BE THAT STINGY, KRABS

MoneyMoneyMoney: I figured you’d get in other people’s business, PLANKTON

Lemonscented: STINGY RESTAURATEUR! I WILL DEFEAT YOU BEFORE THE DECADE IS OUT!

Texas: yeah right. Haven’t you two been at this for literal  _ years??? _

Lemonscented: THAT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, SCIENTIST!

Texas: actually it  _ is  _ when I get constantly wrapped up in your schemes

Texas: but ok. 

Texas: boomers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo what’s up fluffy pillow gang (not pearls tho) I’m back with another chapter of this disaster


End file.
